Tuesday, March 13, 2007

I never really cared for the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame, but now I'm pissed.

I stumbled across an ad today for the rock and roll hall of fame's Definitive 200 collection. So I figured I'd give it a click and see what they felt the "200 albums every music lover should own" are, and in what order these albums were in. I must say I was a little more than shocked when I starting reading this list, I could hardly contain my rage. I cannot find any information on the website to let me know by whom these albums were picked, or why they were put in the order they were put in. By the time I got into the 30's I was ready to drive to Cleveland and piss on the entry door to the hall. I've never had much respect for the hall in general, I feel they inducted derivative acts and seem to forget the pioneers, and they also seem to have a very strong Elvis bias. Not that I hate Elvis, I mean on an entertainment level he was fairly talented, but "godfather" of rock 'n' roll he isn't. One other thing I should point out before I rip this list to shreds is that it seems to be mostly a marketing ploy to sell more albums, there is even a participating retailers link on the website.

So let me give you a run down of just how crappy this list is, starting at the top. The album that they put in the top spot is Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, now let me explain something. I love The Beatles, a lot, I would say they are the most important band of all time. I do not however subscribe to the belief that this album is their masterwork. I happen to prefer the more subtly amazing, and sonically more pleasing Revovler. So they started off on the wrong foot with me to begin with. It just gets worse from there.

Then at #2 they have Dark Side of the Moon, again let me explain myself here. I like Pink Floyd, quite a bit really. I just happen to prefer them when Syd Barret was in the band. I think the sound that can be found on Dark Side, is a bit too "arena" for my taste. I'm sure there are people that are just soooooo happy that Dark Side is #2, I just happen to think they have better albums, and maybe those should have been chosen over this.

This is where the list to me goes completely off the rails into pure commercial, we must sell more albums territory. At #3 they have Thriller, by Micheal Jackson. I have to say that Thriller is a really great pop/dance/light R&B album, god I hate the fact that R&B is a term that is used for any album by a black artist that isn't hip-hop or rap. R&B means rhythm and blues, and Thriller is not rhythm and blues, it is pop/dance music. So whether or not you think it is R&B or pop or both, I know one thing it is most assuredly not and that is rock 'n' roll. GRRRRR.

Then at #4 we get Led Zeppelin IV, I think that Led Zeppelin are rock and roll gods, almost like they were sent down from some sort of rock Valhalla. This album, or any other Led Zeppelin album is not, I repeat not top 10 album of all time material, not by a long shot. OMG this selection really curdles my butter. I think even more so than the Thriller pick, at least I can see from a marketing stand point why you would put Thriller up this high, but Led Zepp IV, come on.

At #5 we have U2 Joshua Tree, are you fucking kidding me!?!?!?!?!?!? This band is terrible, so disgusting, and so void of any real passion, art, or anything real at all. I just don't get it, maybe I need to listen to this album again, maybe there is something so great and wonderful. You can tell me till you're blue in the face about the amazing musicianship of The Edge, or the brilliant songwriting, the razor sharp production. But, when I listen to their work I feel nothing, not a damn thing, I'm not moved in any way. I guess I just don't get this band.

#6 brings us The Rolling Stones Exile on Mainstreet, I like the Stones, they make good music. Very blues based, they let you know where they are coming from, a little racist now and then with Mick Jagger not being able to stop talking about what black girls should do. I just don't think they should rate this high. I just don't.

#7 Carole King Tapestry, I know nothing of this album, maybe I'm outing myself as some sort of ignorant loser by saying that, but I know nothing of this work. I can however think of about 10 albums that could go in this spot. in fact there are many in the top 10 of this list that should be ahead of this I'm quite sure.

#8 Bob Dylan Highway 61 Revisted, finally they got something right, I would probably put this in the top 5, maybe even top 3, but at least it's here. I do agree that this is his best work, and it should be the highest rated Dylan album. It is great, great stuff. If you don't like it go and listen to it about 10 times, then come tell you don't like it. But believe me after a few listens you won't be back to tell me you don't like it, you'll thank me.

#9 The Beach Boys Pet Sounds, again, at least they got this one right, although it could be rated higher. This is such a good album, you should own this one for sure.

#10 Nirvana Nevermind, I agree with this album in this spot 100%. No beef from me here.

So there is the top 10, after this it starts to fall apart quickly. I won't bore you with the whole list, you could just go look at it for yourself. What I will say is that Pearl Jam's 10 is not the #11 album of all time. It shouldn't even be on this list. There are so many albums in the top 20 that shouldn't be on the list at all. Metallica's self titled album from 1991, no way should that be on the list. They have Shania Twain at #21, I threw up in my mouth a little bit when I read that one.

What made me the angriest though are the artists that were left off the list completely, no Stooges, no Buddy Holly, no Chuck Berry, no Eddie Cochrane, The Sonics aren't on the list! I do know one thing for sure, I won't need to go to Cleveland anytime soon. I had little desire to see the hall of fame before, but this list of rubbish killed what little desire there is.

8 comments:

John said...

Hilarious, Steve ... I just wrote a very similar blog post, right down to our identical desire to react to this list via urination. Great minds think alike, as me mum used to say.

Barbnocity said...

Totally agree with you on the St. Pepper's vs. Revolver--what were they thinking??? Thriller as #3?? Just because it sold a whole lot of copies doesn't make it a good album. I won't go any further except to say,
I REALLY REALLY like Carole King's Tapestry album, but, maybe it is a chick thing :)

Amanda said...

Um, I cannot agree more with you about the Dark Side of the Moon album in the number 2 spot. Frankly, I consider myself somewhat of a Pink Floyd afficionado and Dark Side of the Moon make me groan. Saucerful of Secrets would have done much better in the #2 spot. I won't even go into the rest of the list as I too, want to vomit...especially on the Thriller album.

killyridols said...

The biggest problem is in the syntax of the whole bloated place--

They named it ROCK N ROLL hall of fame, and it appears that they wanted to call it MUSIC hall of fame.

Believe me, I roller skated like there was no tomorrow to some Thriller, and I would have given my right eye for even a pleather MJ jacket in 84. But rock n roll it ain't, and everyone knows it.

I love your blog and the fact that you are using less formal writing style and more hilarious spazzing and over the top righteously fucking spot-on examples like the way you speak in real life!

More later...

Housefairy said...

whoops way lame...
that was me, housefairy, posting from home computer still logged in as Steve. S O R R Y

Amanda said...

I began to wonder about steve...saying he wanted a Thriller Jacket. I'll admit, second thoughts about letting Jake play with him crossed my mind, hahaha.

Wedgehead said...

This list reminds me of the "Top songs/albums/etc..." of all time that were so prevalent at the turn of the century. Marketing ploys, nothing more. I hate to say it, but even talking about it means you fell for their trick.

I also *love* those sports lists that media outlets produce every once in a while. Like, eighty percent of "The NFL's Top 25 Quarterbacks Of All Time" are from the last fifteen years.

Everything offered for consumption by corporate media is all such B.S.

I think a more appropriate list would be The Most Culturally Significant Pop Songs of the last 150 years. That way it actually include some Stephen Foster, Jazz, Rag-Time, Blues, Country & Western, and Swing.

Benny Goodman actually started a teenage riot of pepped up hep cats with a wild out of control show in New York once. Bobby Soxers used to chase Frank Sinatra down the street. But I doubt either of those two artists are on the list.

And another thing, how do you rate one album as being the 77th top album over another one at 78th?

I remember the day I realized that songs were only played on the radio as a to trick to get me to listen to their commercials. And my indignation hasn't subsided after all these years.

Wedgehead said...

This list reminds me of the "Top songs/albums/etc..." of all time that were so prevalent at the turn of the century. Marketing ploys, nothing more. I hate to say it, but even talking about it means you fell for their trick.

I also *love* those sports lists that media outlets produce every once in a while. Like, eighty percent of "The NFL's Top 25 Quarterbacks Of All Time" are from the last fifteen years.

Everything offered for consumption by corporate media is all such B.S.

I think a more appropriate list would be The Most Culturally Significant Pop Songs of the last 150 years. That way it actually include some Stephen Foster, Jazz, Rag-Time, Blues, Country & Western, and Swing.

Benny Goodman actually started a teenage riot of pepped up hep cats with a wild out of control show in New York once. Bobby Soxers used to chase Frank Sinatra down the street. But I doubt either of those two artists are on the list.

And another thing, how do you rate one album as being the 77th top album over another one at 78th?

I remember the day I realized that songs were only played on the radio as a to trick to get me to listen to their commercials. And my indignation hasn't subsided after all these years.